Unforced Rhythms of Grace

Tomorrow, I move to the parsonage at Brook Hill United Methodist Church. I am a pastor. That simple sentence is full to overflowing with years of growing, surrendering, hoping and persevering. There have been many moments since my appointment began that I thought, "I really love doing this" and "This is so right." I feel like I have been birthed again into the true me. I had a sense yesterday that God was watching me preach and smiling and soaking me with "I love you's." Years ago, at a time of great burnout, a friend shared with me a vision they had: Jesus was walking down the beach and finds a deflated beach ball. He blows it up and covers it with kisses. It was true. That is what Jesus did that weekend in my life, reminding me of how loved I am and restoring my life- again. The vision in my head right now is Jesus is now tossing that ball into the air, laughing joyfully. If I can just stay in the hands of Jesus, I will enjoy this journey as well. I am already confronted with brokenness, pain, sorry and grief. I am ready to pour out love and presence and lift deflated beach balls to Jesus to inflate with life. I am ready to stay in Jesus' hands and learn the (Matthew 11:28-31, The Message) "the unforced rhythms of grace" and let God blow life. When I blow on my own air, I just get headaches. When I blow Holy Spirit life into others by praying, speaking grace, listening and given presence, miracles happen. I am in a place of holy anticipation.

Mighty

Mighty...I am pondering the idea that God is mighty, powerful, able. I am sure I am convinced of that truth but sometimes, I struggle. I mean sometimes, I don't understand if God is mighty, why doesn't God just fix all the sorrow and suffering. Then as I hover over the abyss of doubt, of faithlessness...God acts in a mighty, unexpected way in my life. For some mighty means parting the sea, raising the dead or creating mountains. This past week, mighty meant God doing mighty acts in ordinary people. Youth working in 100plus heat with a cheerful attitude, reaching out to those they helped with kindness and the love of God. Sixty four youth completed 21 service projects in five days. Each night they would share and worship and love on each other. Was it all perfect? No and that was the very miracle. God worked in the messiness, the emotions, the heat. When the closing sharing was done, everyone wanted to come back and do it again. God was mighty to save and we had front row seats.

Messiness

My pastor once said, "God is in the mess." I really think so. In fact, I am convinced. The Bible is full of messy situations and there is God, right in the middle of it all. Today, was a messy day. It was one of those times when emotions surface, tears flow, anger flashes and people were ugly. Someone commented to me...it is a real mess. I started looking for God. I started listening for God. I heard God...God was in the words coming out of my mouth. I said things like, "God is still bigger than all of this" and "God is able to bring good out of this." I even said, "God will help us through this tough time." This was not wishful thinking. I experientially know this because I have been through a lot of messes and God is always faithful. In the midst of brokenness, discouragement, and pain, God often is most clearly seen if we are open. So God, I am open. I am praying. I am believing that you love these people more than I do and you know how to calm storms, heal hearts and bring peace. I am waiting on you as you are in this mess.

No time to blog-but I am

I am not sure how I ended up here. I was just going to connect with my pastor's blog but ended up setting up one for me. This might be a good place for all the profound thoughts going through my head. We will see. It takes time to blog. Let's give it a try...

I have been thinking about miracles, messiness and mighty. I am on this "M" theme.

Miracles: God intervening in ways we can't explain or create ourselves. Miracles are signs of God and reminder that God is good. I did go through a difficult time where a lot of bad things happened to people I care about. I didn't get why there were no miracles when one was needed badly. I am coming to a new place lately, the place of hidden miracles. That it just might be that there are miracles, just not the miracle I wanted. It is easy to pick and choose what miracles we will accept. I pray desperately for an illness to be cured but maybe the miracle needed is a relationship restored. I am starting to see miracles as signs that God is near and there are a lot of those around me: relationships restored, opportunities appear, kindness shown, unexpected grace. Some of you wouldn't classify these as miracles. You would rather hold out for the bold, over the top God events. These are great but I don't want to miss God anywhere and if I open my life to everything God, then miracles sprout up like dandelions. What miracles do you see or experience?

next blog...messiness